Have you ever found yourself in a "now or never" situation? That the opportunity for your so-wished dream to come true is right in front of you, but also there's a chance that you lose it all? Have you ever felt like that?
During tournaments I usually get into such situation. Sometimes it comes with a smaller importance, a few rating points to win or lose. But sometimes a championship's highest places are the prize. And there comes a "now or never" game. The expression 'game' loses its "playful", "fun" feature -- it's whether you achieve for what you had been working for many years or let the chance slip away.
I will never forget the game I played on 16 October 2006. It was the World Junior Chess Championship -- last round, first board. My opponent was the leading player -- in case of her victory she would have become the World Champion. Also for me the game was not at all a child's play: if I had won, I would have tied for the first 4 places, while with a loss I would have finished nowhere -- losing the previous 12 rounds' achievement.
11 o'clock, the round starts. She is much of confidence and I know she is stronger, but I shouldn't think of it. Move follows move. I make a move and the whole audience sees it. Not just the local audience, but anybody in the world. I make a move and it appears immediately on the Internet. I know there were many people following the game. Also at home, in Hungary. Especially the players of my county, they were all watching it: my family, my friends, my trainer. I'm in Yerevan, World Championship, last round, last chance... and I'm much in nerves.
I'm afraid of making a mistake, I'm afraid of spoiling it all. They are watching my game and they believe in me -- and I would like to prove them so much. And to prove for myself as well. Prove that it wasn't just a waste of money, a waste of free time and energy. Prove that it was worth missing those class excursions, those parties, the school community as such... To quit dancing and playing on the flute... Prove that it was worth being an odd fish in the pool. A fish that doesn't want to swim with the others but tries to learn to fly instead.
So there I was standing, or actually sitting -- sitting in front of the opportunity. I got a better position after the opening, but started spoiling my advantage. Time trouble came and one mistake followed another -- I ended up having a bad position. I started to give up in spirit, my dream was about to collapse. But I still had to try, not to throw in the towel. She wasn't a machine either -- that was my only hope.
Then she did it. A mistake, just in the right moment. A mistake that gave me the chance to save the game. And fortunately I knew how to save it. She was trying for some time still, but it was impossible to win that position. An endgame where nobody could do anything. A draw had to be agreed.
The result draw led to her not becoming World Champion, and my not tying up for the first 4 places. Still... I was the happiest person on Earth when the game ended. That handshaking meant to me a place in the top 10. Top 10 in the world, in the entire world. I was about to lose it all, but fortune stood back to my side and gave me another chance. And that chance I didn't spoil. This time I didn't. The whole world was watching... I will never forget that moment.
During tournaments I usually get into such situation. Sometimes it comes with a smaller importance, a few rating points to win or lose. But sometimes a championship's highest places are the prize. And there comes a "now or never" game. The expression 'game' loses its "playful", "fun" feature -- it's whether you achieve for what you had been working for many years or let the chance slip away.
I will never forget the game I played on 16 October 2006. It was the World Junior Chess Championship -- last round, first board. My opponent was the leading player -- in case of her victory she would have become the World Champion. Also for me the game was not at all a child's play: if I had won, I would have tied for the first 4 places, while with a loss I would have finished nowhere -- losing the previous 12 rounds' achievement.
11 o'clock, the round starts. She is much of confidence and I know she is stronger, but I shouldn't think of it. Move follows move. I make a move and the whole audience sees it. Not just the local audience, but anybody in the world. I make a move and it appears immediately on the Internet. I know there were many people following the game. Also at home, in Hungary. Especially the players of my county, they were all watching it: my family, my friends, my trainer. I'm in Yerevan, World Championship, last round, last chance... and I'm much in nerves.
I'm afraid of making a mistake, I'm afraid of spoiling it all. They are watching my game and they believe in me -- and I would like to prove them so much. And to prove for myself as well. Prove that it wasn't just a waste of money, a waste of free time and energy. Prove that it was worth missing those class excursions, those parties, the school community as such... To quit dancing and playing on the flute... Prove that it was worth being an odd fish in the pool. A fish that doesn't want to swim with the others but tries to learn to fly instead.
So there I was standing, or actually sitting -- sitting in front of the opportunity. I got a better position after the opening, but started spoiling my advantage. Time trouble came and one mistake followed another -- I ended up having a bad position. I started to give up in spirit, my dream was about to collapse. But I still had to try, not to throw in the towel. She wasn't a machine either -- that was my only hope.
Then she did it. A mistake, just in the right moment. A mistake that gave me the chance to save the game. And fortunately I knew how to save it. She was trying for some time still, but it was impossible to win that position. An endgame where nobody could do anything. A draw had to be agreed.
The result draw led to her not becoming World Champion, and my not tying up for the first 4 places. Still... I was the happiest person on Earth when the game ended. That handshaking meant to me a place in the top 10. Top 10 in the world, in the entire world. I was about to lose it all, but fortune stood back to my side and gave me another chance. And that chance I didn't spoil. This time I didn't. The whole world was watching... I will never forget that moment.
5 comments:
Nice, World first 10 is amazing! Very
hard to reach.. I can almost feel how happy you was after that match :) You had to give up so mutch, but it was worth it! I was very exited when I was reading this story. I was only hoping it comes to a happy ending :)
I was also excited and worried about the end, but finally I took a breath:D Congratulations to you, being in the first 10 in the world, that IS fantastic, like in fairy tales. I'm proud of knowing you.
Thanks a lot, Vera :) I'm also proud of knowing you ;)
What drama at a chess tournament and in this story about it --and what utterly great achievement in both!
Thanks, Joe! Chess is really a drama sometimes. But also just ;) (At least we, chessplayers, believe so;))
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